


Half a gallon

by Zummar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Confussion, Crack Fic, F/M, lubricant in large quantities, pharmacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 12:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13717791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zummar/pseuds/Zummar
Summary: Jo and Lisa has a friendly fight over their favorite costumer Dean Winchester. But something might not be right with the man, coz what normal man needs lube by the gallon?





	Half a gallon

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for Spncoldesthits February challenge ‘V3ggie tales’ 
> 
> Based on a true story, just FYI ;)

Jo was stacking toothpaste and other dental hygiene products with Lisa when the doorbell’s tinkle announced the first customer to the pharmacy that day. Both women looked up and then at each other when they saw who it was. It was Dean Winchester. A friendly fight over the handsome Dean’s favor was going on between them, though neither of them had gotten very far. They dropped what they were doing and hurried over to Dean, trying to get there before the other without it being too obvious.

“Mr.Winchester” Jo and Lisa said as one, with their brightest smiles.

“Well, hello there, ladies.” He gave them a crooked smile, his red plaid shirt made his eyes seem even greener than usual, and when he smiled lines showed around them, making both Lisa and Jo somewhat weak in the knees. “Think I’ve said this before but, you can call me Dean. Mr. Winchester is far too formal for me.”

“What can I help you with today, Mr— I mean Dean?” Jo asked quickly, beating Lisa to the task. Lisa gave Jo an evil eye but couldn’t hide the smile underneath as she excused herself.

“I kinda need to get my hands on some lubrication, has to be water based,” he said in conspiratory voice.

Jo raised an eyebrow. “Ok, we have that over there.” She nodded to the far-left corner of the store and followed him over to the shelves.

She pointed at the water-based ones. Dean looked at them and then back up at Jo. “Is this all you got?”

“Uhm…yes, I think so, let me check!” _Why the hell did he need more than one? And why was the seven 4oz bottles they had not enough?_ She walked over to the counter and began typing at the keyboard.

“Jo,” Lisa whispered behind her, “why do you look so…confused? What happened?”

“He wants to buy lube,” Jo answered hushed over her shoulder.

“So?” Lisa stood right beside her now with furrowed brows. “What’s so strange about that? At least now we know he’s not celibate.” She nudged Jo in the side with her elbow.

“Yeah, no, that’s for sure.” Jo looked at Lisa with an amused expression.

“Just tell me! What do you mean!”

“Well, there is seven,” she worried her lip between her teeth, “ _seven_ bottles of water-based lube over there and,” she snorted, “he asked me if those were all we had!”

Lisa’s eyes were so wide Jo almost worried they might fall out. “What? Is he some kind of sex addict or something?”

Jo shrugged at her friend as she made her way back to Dean. He was holding the entire stash of lube. “So, what’s the word?”

“So, these are all we got for now, but there should be a shipment with another twenty or so later today.”

“Okay, when?”

“They should be here by noon,” Jo said and Dean looked at his watch and seemed to think really hard about something.

“Okay, that will have to do.” He turned one of the bottles in his hand. “So, these are 4oz, I would need to have...” He stared at the ceiling for a second. “I need another nine of them.” He looked Jo square in the face and continued, “Can you hold them for me? I’ll be back around 1pm.”

Jo and Lisa had never been so quiet together before, mouths ajar they just stared at each other as the door closed behind Dean.

“I…” Jo couldn’t find the proper thing to say, heck, she couldn’t find _anything_ to say.

“Sixteen bottles of lube? That’s like half a gallon! What is he going to do with all that lube?” Lisa exhaled in disbelief.

Jo shrugged and laughed nervously. “I-don’t-know.”

“Do we ask him? _Can_ we ask him?”

Another shrug from Jo. It was really not their business, but this was intriguing to say the least.

The hours until the shipment came were slow, and the both women were silent most of the time, save for the short burst of “half a gallon!? Why?” that they went through now and then.

12.45pm Dean Winchester’s arrival was once again announced by the tinkle of the doorbell. He went straight up to Jo by the counter. “Is it in?” He sounded eager.

“Yes, I just unpacked.” Jo placed a box on top of the counter. “I think these are for you.” She gave him an uncertain smile as she opened the box and watched Dean grab nine more bottles. He swiped his credit card and paid for them all as Jo packed them in a bag.

When handing them over Jo could no longer keep it in. “I’m sorry, I know this is sooo not my business but—” she handed him the bag and did a nervous drum roll with her fingers on the countertop. “I just—”

“Wanted to know what kind of sex pervert I am that needs half a gallon of lube by noon?” Dean interrupted with a mischievous smile. Jo felt her cheeks heating and she gave him an embarrassed glance.

He chortled, “It’s not for me, it’s for the cows.” He said this as if that would explain anything. It did not. Jo was still confused. Dean sighed and smiled, realizing his mistake. “I’m a veterinarian, and today I’m going to a farm to inseminate some cows. Packing my stuff this morning I realized that I was out of sliding mucus and there was no time to order it, but lube works just as good. It’s essentially the same but, I can buy the other in gallons instead of ounces…” He gave her a quick wink and a smile, said, “See ya’” and left the pharmacy.

The doorbell tinkled once again and Jo and Lisa simultaneously let out a sigh of relief.

 


End file.
